Learning To Accept Where You Are in the Process...

...and trusting that where you are will ultimately get you to where you choose to be.

This is a concept that I've worked on accepting over this past year, specifically. Although I've always known that change is inevitable, I would often find myself paralyzed when it didn't look how I had planned. What a struggle it felt like! To accept unplanned change, that is.  And most especially for an over-achiever who often equated her self-worth with the number of goals achieved, the amount of money made, and the quantity of tasks accomplished! 

I knew that a mindset shift was necessary...but how could I accept that where I am is where I'm meant to be? How does "acceptance" get me closer to the life of freedom that I am seeking? 

So, I thought of a few things and asked myself...

   ~ What if - while nurturing a new relationship - I learn to better manage my time?

   ~ What if - while living through a pandemic - I learn to slow down?

   ~ What if - while experiencing a significant reduction in income - I learn to be mindful in my spending?

...aren't all of these good lessons to learn?

My short answer was, "Yes." 

My long answer was more like, "Well, yes, but what does it say about me if I don't 'have it all together' all of the time? I've worked my whole life to get where I am, so how can I just 'trust the process' and know that it's all gonna work out? Aren't I lazy if I'm not working myself to death, accomplishing more and making more money???"

For as long as I can remember, "good enough" was never good enough. Not working at my maximum potential every single day meant that I was just being lazy. But why? At what cost? And in pursuit of meeting whose expectations?

Was my drive for excellence a result of seeking value in myself through my accomplishments? 

Did this mean that I was unworthy of having a meaningful relationship over a successful career?

Who was I doing all of this for? Myself? The approval of others?

These are all loaded questions, of course, and over the past year I've had the opportunity to reflect on them in ways that I had never given myself permission to do so before. Working hard and achieving great things has always been doable for me with relative ease.  That is...until I chose to work on being still and trusting the process. Those tasks seemed torturous, frustrating, and nearly impossible! However, I quickly learned that it simply required a new level of commitment and discernment.

I got to decide on what it really was that I was seeking in life and determine the level of commitment it would take to get there. I got to acknowledge my accomplishments and discern on how those accomplishments could help me get closer to the life I truly desired. I got to slow down. I got to step out of the "to-do's and how-to's" while stepping into the "this is it, and I'm satisfied" moments. I got to be present in the discomfort. 

And I practiced. Day in and day out. Over and over again. Most especially, I practiced giving myself permission.

I gave myself permission...

... to experience "all the feels." 

... to rest when I needed. 

... to explore a new relationship. 

... to not have it together all of the time. 

... to fall and get back up. 

... to be the fainting goat.

... all the while being committed to growing through the uneasiness I felt, so that I could realize my biggest accomplishment yet - a truly connected life, filled with joy and a peaceful heart. One that would allow me to be the vibrant person God has always called me to be. One that would allow me the space to grow, learn and serve others. One that would allow me to love more and stress less.

And so I remain committed. And I practice. Every single day.

I practice loving myself enough to try, loving myself enough to fail, and loving myself enough to always get back up.

Why?

Because I am committed to ME. 

Because I am committed to LIVING THE LIFE THAT GOD HAS CREATED FOR ME.

Because I am committed to SERVING OTHERS.

Because I am committed to EXPERIENCING LOVE.

Because I am committed to FAMILY & FRIENDSHIPS.

Because I am committed to PEACE, JOY & HAPPINESS.

Because I am committed to A LIFE OF FREEDOM.

*What are you committed to that will help drive you closer to achieving the life you desire? Give yourself permission to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. Discern and ask God to help guide you along the way. 

You are worthy of achieving your biggest accomplishment.

Practice daily.

And remember that progress always trumps perfection!